Unbeknownst to practically everyone in Hardin County, the Pure Station in Lafayette has 28 CENTS A GALLON GASOLINE! And some crack investigative journalism (see story) uncovers why. And it's not what you think. Believe me - Ada Herald
Unbeknownst to practically everyone in Hardin County, the Pure Station in Lafayette has 28 CENTS A GALLON GASOLINE! And some crack investigative journalism (see story) uncovers why. And it's not what you think. Believe me. (Ada Herald/Joe Schriner)

LAFAYETTE — *Fake News Alert…

The regular “Fuel Update” story in this paper a few weeks back noted Ohio gas prices had fallen 5.1 cents per gallon in the price was averaging $1.97 a gallon.

These figures are based on “Gasbuddy’s” daily survey of 5,345 Ohio gas stations.

Gasbuddy, apparently, doesn’t average in Lafayette’s “Pure Station” – or the overall average per gallon would have been CONSIDERABLY less!

Why?

Because driving through Lafayette recently, I saw that the price per gallon at the Pure Station downtown was: 28 cents per gallon!

AND THERE WASN’T EVEN A LINE!

What, these Lafayette residents keeping this to themselves?!

I had a full tank, so I couldn’t fill up.

But I did ‘look up.’

I looked up OPEC countries that might have a connection with, or affinity for, this little Ohio village. And researching, at length, all 15 OPEC countries, I narrowed it down to the most likely.

Qatar.

It withdrew from OPEC in January and was looking for new, more lucrative markets for their oil.

Enter: Lafayette.

That’s right, with a burgeoning population of 419, including at least 15 SUV’s that I was able to count as I was driving around, BINGO, this was the place for Qatar to start its independent (from OPEC) “producer push.”

And what better way to win over the locals than to sell to the Pure Station at such a dirt cheap price, that the Pure Station could, in turn, drop the price, initially, to 28 cents a gallon.

Also, that number wasn’t picked at random. Hardly!

My investigation also found that that was the jersey number of Jonathan “Beinie” Wells, the famous Ohio State running back who ran for 220 yards against Michigan in 2007.

So, the best I can determine, this is a subliminal feel good thing all around – to reel Lafayetites (Is that what they go by?) in completely.

Then when the Lafayette/Qatar ‘gas coup’ is complete, it will be on to: Ada, Dola, McGuffey… Oh, and another reason Qatar may have picked Lafayette?

While still supposition at this stage, Lafayette was named in honor of the famous Marquis de Lafayette, who was a French military officer who commanded American troops in the American Revolutionary War.

And as Marquis has a q in it, so, to, does Qatar.

Coincidence?

I doubt it.

And I’d write even more about my Lafayete/Qatar connection theories, but my wife says I have to stop now.

Next up: Alger. And how another OPEC country, Algeria, is eyeing this small village for…

Note: Q. [There it is again!] Who was the biggest jokester in George Washington’s Army? A. Laughayette.

I got a million of ‘em.